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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28728063">"Him..."</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckymcboingboing/pseuds/buckymcboingboing'>buckymcboingboing</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>TXT [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Soojun, Yeonbin, and give yeonjun the hug i want to give him, canonverse, im just using this to vent about soobin's soft leadership, please dont mind me and my awful unbeta'd-ness lol</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 12:02:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>810</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28728063</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckymcboingboing/pseuds/buckymcboingboing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p><b>Synopsis/Plot:</b> A Yeonbin canonverse wip. Yeonjun recalls why he's happy that Soobin is their leader due to a personally-difficult moment as trainees.</p><p><b>Why:</b> When I first got into TXT, I was in love with Yeonbin and wished for more canonverse oneshots, etc.</p><p><b>Fun Fact(s):</b> I treat this as a prompt for some of my other works sometimes. It's not fleshed-out and it is very lacking, but it's something that makes me build off their relationship in my little writing world. As always, lovelies, this is completely fictional.</p><p>I hope you like or this inspires you to fix up something better &lt;3 Love you MOAAA <em>-A</em></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>TXT [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2106036</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>42</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>"Him..."</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>"Him…”<br/>: yeonbin wip<br/>a.d.h.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Him? Why him?" The staff member shifted her weight while the cameraman got closer.</p><p>Yeonjun felt like he was being backed into the corner of their dance practice room.</p><p>"Sorry, could you repeat the question?"</p><p>Yeonjun needed the repeat. It had been a morning of finding out who they picked as leader, with the members' suggestions. Some of his friends from other companies thought he would get it immediately as he was the oldest and on top of the boards, but one thing that he did appreciate in this company was that that didn't matter too much when it came to leadership.</p><p>Leadership is a whole 'nother monster.</p><p>Was he the hyung? Yes.</p><p>Did he have the responsibilities of taking care of his dongsaengs? Also yes.</p><p>But, did he also want to represent the group, smooth out all the intrinsic details of their schedules with the managers, politely fight for their rights as a group, write speeches, and stay up all night calming all of their nerves? Then, go to a meeting where it was five against one, come out on top, and be the vitamin D to dance practice?</p><p>He'd seen Soobin do it before.</p><p>Yeonjun remembered that night. He remembered the taste of the dinner that came back up. The feeling of the younger’s giant, gentle hand that had tapped his back ever-so-slightly. When he realized he was weeping, how Soobin held him and those soft fingers of his had wiped against his cheek.</p><p>When Yeonjun had woken up, the smell wasn't there, but the taste still reminded him of what had happened. The wall against his back was far too soft and warm to be a wall and Yeonjun felt cool, but the good-kind of cold that makes you burrito-wrap yourself in old blankets and worn hoodies. He had never felt that good after hacking up his guts. After turning slightly, he felt-more-than-heard when Soobin gently whispered on his cheek, "Hey, hey, hey, welcome to the world of the living." Yeonjun couldn't have held back his sliver of a grin, though he wanted to just curl back into him and pretend he was still completely dead. He had been tired, so he quickly learned that night that many of his thoughts would become actions far faster than he could think through them when in such a slothful state. When he had curled back into the taller's embrace, Yeonjun could feel Soobin's breathing hitch as he burrowed into his chest. The hand on his back had stayed and while it did so, it gently continued flooding his entire body with the electricity anyone feels after realizing they're loved. Yeonjun had resolved to himself that he never wanted to move. The circumstances, the repercussions, and the consequences all to hell, he'd just wanted to stay. The hand on his back suddenly moved and he felt an overwhelming sadness that he wouldn't feel this way again anytime soon. The hand, however, had then found his hair and had started making gentle circles in his scalp. Yeonjun remembered Soobin's barely-spoken murmuring when he held him and he would remember it until the day he died. He had written the words on his heart and he was so afraid of forgetting them that he wrote them down in the early morning the next day.</p><p>"My hyung works so hard."</p><p>It had been the first time anyone recognized that he wasn't the all-natural walking talent that the scoreboards portrayed. Soobin knew how much he put into this. His parents had pushed him to be better, but he didn't know if they would ever be proud of him back then. The other dongsaengs, with their big, sparkling eyes, had looked up to him, but he felt too much like a know-it-all. With Soobin, it was different. Though that previously-spoken sentence had been more than enough to break Yeonjun, Soobin was unaware of the older’s inner turmoil. So, Soobin hadn't ended his musings there. After all, Yeonjun was still tucked in the folds of the man's clothes.</p><p>"Breathe. You give us way too much, just breathe."</p><p>
  <em> When was the last time he had given anything to him? </em>
</p><p>Yeonjun had given up all of his pretenses and suffocating thoughts and drowning dreams and breathed in.</p><p>He had let himself breathe for the first time in a while.</p><p>"Just stay," he had breathed out. “Please, just stay.” Yeonjun was always the first to walk away from a company, from a group, from people. If anything ever happened, he was already out of there, but here, he simply stayed. It had been years since he felt the newbie nerves or the stuttering introductions. The first impressions and jitters were years ago, if he even had them.</p><p>But here, in those arms, in this weird family, he had stayed.</p><p>All he prayed for was that they stayed, too.</p><p>
  <em>-A</em>
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